


I don't want to lose you now, or ever.

by blarkore



Category: Red Queen Series - Victoria Aveyard
Genre: Canon Divergent, F/M, Happy Ending, if you hate maven this isnt for you, mare loves maven, maven doesn't die, maven wants to heal, slighty OOC, war storm- alternate ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-10-18 02:17:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20631467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blarkore/pseuds/blarkore
Summary: She loves this boy. This beautiful, damaged, broken boy. And she was about to have to watch him die by her hand.Or; the one in which Mare’s head knows what she should do, but ultimately her heart makes the decision for her.





	I don't want to lose you now, or ever.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay hiiii! Obviously, Mare and Maven are slightly out of character because I am not VA, nor am I a professional writer.
> 
> Also, this is my very first fic so be gentle with me.
> 
> Just wanted to soothe the pain of losing baby boy Maven

A thousand thoughts run through her head, trying to come to terms with what she needs to do. The things he has done to her, to Cal, to everyone. The things he will never get to do if she goes through with this, like recover or heal. She has no idea if that is something he is even capable of at this point, but deep down she hopes there is a piece of him that wants to live and wants to love.

Love. That is the word that keeps running through her head. She loves many people, and she has lost many people, but somehow this seems different. She mourns the brother that she lost, and thinks of what this would do to Cal, losing his brother. She thinks about how this might make a safer world for most of her loved ones. All except one. 

The pain that he has caused her is rivaling in her chest against the pain that she knows losing him will cause her. He has done unspeakable things, things that wouldn’t be easily forgiven if he were asking for forgiveness. But then, there have been unspeakable things done to him, and yet no one has asked him to forgive them, no one has even thought about the boy behind the mask who has been toyed with, manipulated, and hurt more than most. Still, she wonders if there is a boy behind the mask anymore, or is he just the mask? 

No. No, she knows there is still that boy. She saw it before his betrayal, she saw it in the notes he would leave her, she saw it that night in his bathroom. A vulnerable boy doing the simple task of taking a bath. She knows he is there; she knows he still loves, maybe in his own fucked up way, but he loves, and he is loved. By Cal… By her. After everything, Mare loves Maven. She loves this boy. This beautiful, damaged, broken boy. And she is about to watch him die by her hand.

As they are both knocked to the ground, she has the upper hand, and she has the weapon. She looks him in the eyes, in those breath-taking, blue eyes. And what gives her pause is the silent acceptance. Maven has given up, and he has accepted that he will die here today, and it will be the girl he loves who finally ends his life. Maybe it is some sort of justice for all he has done, for the only one who still has a part of his heart to be the one to stab him and stop his heart forever. He thinks there may be no better way to go out, other than with her by his side. Yet, as their eyes stayed locked on eachother, neither makes a move, neither have the strength to fight eachother anymore.

Not being able to handle the pain he sees in her eyes, not wanting to be the cause of her pain any longer, he starts, “Mare… It’s okay.” She quickly jolts her head away, not wanting him to see the tears now streaming down her cheeks. 

“Maven, I- I can’t do it. You know I can’t.” She can’t even stomach the thought of him being gone at this point.

“I am sorry for all that I’ve done to you, my darling, Mare. You didn’t deserve any of it, you deserve a life of happiness without the burden of me and the pain I bring." As his eyes begin to fill with tears, he grabs Mare’s hand and brings the weapon to his chest. “You will be okay. You will be happy again.”

Mare brings her head down to lay on his stomach, and sobs. “I won’t be. For all that you have done, and for all the pain you’ve caused me, I have loved you. I fell in love with you when we were betrothed. When I was certain you were to be my husband. I was scared, and felt alone and then you crawled your way into my heart, and suddenly the future didn’t seem so bad with you by my side.”

“I-,” Maven started to speak, to try and reconcile with what she was saying, but Mare cut him off.

“No, I have to say this. I saw that future, and then you broke my heart into pieces. You betrayed me, and yet I still loved you. I still love you. I will not let you die, certainly not by my hand.”

Maven, at a loss for words hearing that this beautiful, wonderful human being still loves him, quietly sits up and takes Mare’s face in his hands, wipes her tears, and says, “My sweet Mare, there is only one way this ends. If you don’t kill me, someone will. There is too much damage done, but there is nothing more I would want in life than to make this up to you, to earn your forgiveness, to be worthy of your love.”

“Then, let’s run o-or fight. Together. I don’t want to be on opposite sides anymore Mave. I just want you. We get out of this together, or we go down together.” Mare thinks she sees the acceptance of death drain out of his eyes, and something akin to hope in them. 

“I won’t let you die for me, Mare. I can’t be the reason for that, not with you.”

“We can make a deal to surrender. The lightning girl is with you, certainly after all I’ve done for them, they can do me one favor and spare you.”

“Are you sure about this? I love you, and I don’t want this to be something you regret.”

“I’ve never been surer about anything in my life. I’m not letting you go, Maven.”

As they once again stare eachother in the eye, Mare lets the weapon drop, and Maven pulls her in and just holds her close. They lose track of time, holding eachother, breathing eachother in, and getting ready to live a better life. To make amends, to heal, to recover, to forgive, and to beg for forgiveness. Together. 

Mare pulls back, and kisses him once, twice, and keeps going until they are grinning too hard to kiss anymore and she says, “Are you with me?”

Maven stands up and laces their fingers together. “For the rest of time, darling.”

FIN.


End file.
